Not sure if it's the getting older, or this poignant season in particular, but I find myself getting teary of late. And they're not sad tears, particularly… though when I think of all those babies in heaven right now, I do get sad thinking of their families missing them.
We went to look at lights last nights in this neighborhood that goes all out telling the story of the Night Before Christmas. Lights galore all over the place, strung across the street, from house to house, lawns covered in lights and decorations, it's quite the spectacle. Cars line up for blocks down the street to drive through. Many walk into the neighborhood to take in the scenes on foot. Anyone who lives there must be prepared to stay home for the night. There's no way they could get in or out of the neighborhood without waiting a very long time.
I found myself getting teary as we were driving to see the lights last night. I was with my daughter, her husband and my baby boys and the boys were excited about going to see the lights. It just hit me a certain way and I was overcome with emotion at their excitement. I was so happy to be there with them.
My daughter hosted Christmas Eve at her house tonight and the house was full with family and friends enjoying homemade chicken noodle soup and sourdough grilled cheese sandwiches. It was noisy with conversations here and there and children running through the house, up the stairs and down. I found myself getting teary again as I surveyed this beautifully wild and crazy scene. I was so happy to be here with all of them.
And now I sit here alone. The boys and their mom and dad are all packed off to spend the night at my son-in-law's parents house where they'll get up early to open presents together in their pajamas. I opted to stay here tonight, and will wake up early to go over and join them for presents and breakfast. It's their family tradition and I'm happy to be part of it. Yes, there are tears rising again. I am happy to be sitting here, alone, writing this.
It's Christmas Eve. I'm almost to the end of my Advent devotional. I'm almost to the end of this year's 366 Day Project (I'll write more on that later). I'm grateful to say I have been able to reflect more on this season than in seasons past. Maybe it could be the circumstances surrounding it. It's been a hard year at work. It's been a hard, though good, year, physically as I trained for a marathon and then several half marathons. It's been a hard holiday as so many of us grieved over the tragedy in Connecticutt. It has been a year, a season, of reflection. And we're now here at Christmas' eve. It has been a season of heartache, heartbreak, longing, grieving, waiting; much like that first season. And we're now here at Christmas' eve and I'm teary and they're tears of grief mixed with tears of joy, excitement, anticipation. I'm happy and teary to be celebrating the first coming of Christ. I'm grieving, longing and teary for his second coming.
Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. —Psalm 30:5b
All Things Elda 