The road goes ever on

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
— J R R Tolkien

October 29, 2006
Here it is the last day of our trip. I’m amazed it has come so quickly, though I knew it would. We’re spending the last two days at an exclusive resort here at Khao Lak, called Le Meridien. Yesterday three of us walked along the beach, collecting shells, marveling at the beauty that surrounded us. We had to remind ourselves that we were in Thailand and had spent the last two weeks sweating and working hard while we loved on the children at the various camps.

The weather has been extremely cooperative throughout our journey. We were told that it had rained for several weeks straight before we arrived, but as soon as we were here, the weather cleared. The first week, I believe it rained only once and then in the evening. It has rained more this last week, but, again we were fortunate. It has rained daily, but never during the times we were teaching or playing with the kids. We’d be on our way back to our houses and then the rains would come. Thunder and lightening also joined in and would rumble and flash through the area. Even now, as I write, I can hear thunder away in the mountains behind me. I’m looking out at the ocean and it is a bit rougher today. Yesterday, as we walked along, it was a brilliant blue-green. The sun was shining and hot. Today, the water is grayer and clouds obscure the sun, but it is still beautiful.

Pastor Paul has been asking us to assess the time we have been here, to take stock and consider what God has been revealing of Himself to us. I sit here and watch others of the team playing in the ocean and it is good. God is good.

I’ve already said that I hadn’t planned to come on this trip. I wasn’t interested in going to Thailand and was content to stay home and wait for an opportunity to go to the Middle East again. Even after I had committed to come on this trip, I was tempted by an invitation to go on a trip focusing on Muslim women and I was torn. That’s where I wanted to go. That’s with whom I wanted to connect. Suddenly, I was reminded of the Apostle Paul wanting to go to Asia but being deterred. Asia by way of Macedonia… the Middle East by way of Thailand. I read how God used Paul in Macedonia and see now how God used our team in Thailand as well. (Remind me to share about the “magic tricks” I taught the first grades on Koh Kho Khao.)

Even through the tiredness, the aches and pains, and sickness (brief as it was, thank you Lord!), we all sensed God at work here, on the people to whom we ministered as well as within the team. How else do you explain how 12 women in one house with only 2 bathrooms got along as well as we did, particularly with the teaching schedule we maintained?

October 30, 2006
We’re leaving San Francisco now. The flights were uneventful, EXCEPT… for Caprice, who led an Indian woman to the Lord while we were laid over in Hong Kong… while they were getting foot massages…!! God is good!

Heather was at the airport to meet us, accompanied by Stan, AND Mia, who surprised her mom by being here. Tom was here to surprise Cheryl and Sabrina and Noel welcomed Caprice home also. It was nice seeing familiar faces and receiving hugs all around to welcome us. We are all loaded into the van and on our way home and Becky just found out that her sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer and had undergone a mastectomy earlier today. Another mastectomy is scheduled for tomorrow. God is still good! It’s hard being a frail human being right now, though.

It’s odd, now, riding in the van and seeing all the signs…in English… just English. So many lights, too. The air is cool… and dry. Did I mention that they drive on the other side of the road in Thailand? That was an experience. Every time we got in the vans and pulled out onto the road, I panicked momentarily, thinking we were pulling into the wrong lanes, and then realized that everyone was in the “wrong” lanes, so it didn’t matter. Motorbikes were everywhere, though this time around Pastor Paul said they didn’t sound as loud as previous times.

The sights and sounds and smells. Tropical. Rural. Fishy. Actually, not that fishy. Raw, maybe. There weren’t too many times that the smells got to me. Only a couple of times that the food did. Interestingly, I found that I could eat practically everything that was set before me and I never got tired of the rice, or the fish stock, or the hot sauces. I forgot to mention that I also ate a bug. David just reminded me and I realized I didn’t write about that experience. I guess, much like having the bug placed in my hand, I have chosen to put that memory behind me as well. It happened the first week at the English camp on the island. We were all sitting around in the dining hall and Dean had come over with a bowl filled with the same beetle as had been placed in my hand the previous day. They had been sautéed in this spicy sauce, so that’s pretty much what I tasted. It wasn’t bad, really, except for the shell, which I was told I could spit out, so I did. I was offered another opportunity to eat one, but I declined. I couldn’t help thinking of Timon, in the Lion King, offering the bugs to Simba. He finds one, pops its head off and exclaimed “Ooh, the little cream-filled kind!” I can’t say, though, that they tasted like chicken!

November 1, 2006
We’ve been home now two days and I finally hit the wall big-time this afternoon. Was sitting talking with one of the other Administrative Assistants and she started laughing at me. I had dozed off… just sitting there. Decided I needed to go home and sleep, which I did. Woke up around 8PM and decided to write a bit… one more blog to submit to bring everyone up to date.

It was an amazing experience. I can’t believe that I almost said no to going. I’m so glad I did finally go. The trip to Israel was a vision trip, a trip to see what God was doing there and an opportunity to see that I could be a part. This trip to Thailand was hands-on, an opportunity to join in what God was doing. God broke my heart then, for the Muslim world. He gave me a desire to go to the hard places. He broke my heart again, this time for the children. He showed me how I could serve in the hard places to which He will send me. He broke me also, of my own ideas and persuasions. I thought I knew how I would serve. He has shown me that He can use me in many more ways than I dared hope. He showed me that I have no need to fear my age or my health. They both provide opportunities to show His strength.

I began this blog with a poem by JRR Tolkein. It is a walking song, written by Bilbo and quoted by Frodo in the Lord of the Rings. It spoke to my heart when i first read it, not knowing at the time where the road would lead. The road has been hard at times, but I am grateful for the journey. God has been faithful. And because of His faithfulness, I end with this, thanks to St. Ignatius of Loyola:

Principle and Foundation
We were created to praise, reverence and serve God our Lord, and by this means to experience salvation.

All things on earth are created for us and to help us praise, reverence and serve God. We are to use them as much as they help us in this service, and ought to rid ourselves of anything that hinders our service.

For this it is necessary that we become indifferent to all created things so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty, honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what helps us praise, reverence and serve God. This detachment comes only if we have a stronger attachment; therefore our one dominating desire and fundamental choice must be to live in the loving presence and wisdom of Christ, our Savior.

And this, thanks to the Apostle Paul:

That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. (Philippians 3:10-12)