October 12, 2006
Our first assignment while we were at the San Francisco Airport, waiting to board our first flight to Singapore: Acts 1:8. Pastor Paul asked us to contemplate this passage and write on it. (This will be our daily devotional process while we are in Thailand: reading, contemplating and then writing.) As we were starting, he also told us that the Greek word for witness was the root for martyr. Point to ponder. Herein my reflections:
It is not for you to know.
You will be my witness.
You will be my martyr.
(What is that to you? You follow me. John 21:22)
Jerusalem, all of Judea and Samaria, to the end of the earth.
The Holy Spirit will empower you.
The Holy Spirit will enable you
To witness, to die
To die to yourself.
I know you are calling me. I know you are preparing me. I know all things are happening according to your will. So why am I so hesitant now, why am I struggling, pulling against the reins? I thought I had been getting ready, too. I thought I was almost ready, but it seems I’m still lacking.
It was simpler, then. Not knowing. Ignorance was bliss. Now not knowing is more difficult. Ignorant no more…? I’ve let my will rear up and get in the way. Fleshly desires. My way or the highway. Sigh.
I have to relearn Galatians 2:20 all over again, huh?
I will be your witness, Lord. I will follow you.
To Jerusalem, all of Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.
“Follow You Jesus, all the way up that hill, I will follow you. Follow You Jesus, all the way up that hill. To the cross where the river runs Crimson even still, yes I will Follow You Lord. Follow you, I will, Yes I will” (Bebo Norman, Yes I will)
I live, by faith, in you! I have been crucified with you, Lord! I have died to myself! How quickly I forget!!
October 13, 2006
We’ve been on the plane for over 9 hours and we’re not even half-way there…I’ve catnapped and have a slight headache. I think it’s due to dehydration. Can’t get enough water and we only get small cups at a time.
Today’s assignment was Mark 5:25-34. Is that what the woman with the issue felt? She needed a lot of healing but was getting only small cupfuls of help.
She knew about Jesus. She knew he was powerful, a miracle man. If only she could get close enough… If only I could get close enough…
I know how she felt. I also had problems with an issue of blood. She probably had fibroid tumors and they hurt. Her abdomen was swollen, probably, and tender during certain times of the month. She wanted relief. She’d try anything, she’d already tried so much, why not touch Him, or just his cloak. If he was the powerful man spoken of, that ought to be enough. She was desperate.
I’m desperate, too. Just touch Him. Let His power come out of Him into me…I’m just tired, physically, mentally, emotionally.
October 14, 2006
OK, so I’m on another plane. Actually, it’s the same plane. We just had to get off in Hong Kong, go back through security and then re-board the plane and take our same seats. But it’s another flight, 3 hours to Singapore, and then another brief layover and then on to Phuket. Interesting, I missed Friday completely. It’s already Saturday. We were in the air and with the time change, I missed Friday completely. How weird is that. I even called my girl back home and it was Friday there while I was already in Saturday. Weird to think about, if you think about it and I do, because I’m tired. I’ve been on this plane for what seems like days. We’ll get there eventually, and then we’ll have to spend some time adjusting to the time and climate. The climate… 86 degrees with 97% humidity… sigh.
I shouldn’t complain. You had to walk everywhere, Lord. From Cana to Jerusalem, back to the Sea of Galilee, back to Jerusalem, over to Bethany. You were all over the place and you walked.
When the woman touched you, you knew and yet you asked? Was it a test? Much like God with Adam in the Garden, when He went looking for them after the fruit incident, you asked to see who would respond, who would stand up and say, “I did it.” She wanted to believe you would heal her. She wanted to believe just touching your robe would be enough, just to touch your robe. She didn’t want to bother you. She didn’t want to risk outright rejection by asking you face to face and being rebuffed. She had been to so many specialists, so many professionals and they had all failed her. You were her last hope. She was hanging on by a thread here!
And so I’m here in Thailand, hanging on by a thread. How do I build relationships here where I can’t speak the language? It’s hard enough back home, I don’t relate well. It’s hard. I don’t intentionally seek out relationships. I fall into them, they come to me. I don’t go after them. Except for the kids…? I try to seek them out. They’re different, though. If they reject me, it’s OK. It’s expected. I’ve set myself up for that and it’s OK. It’s not as painful.
Here… OK, Lord, I’ll try. I’ll try! I know. It’s not about me. It’s not even about them. It’s about You! You will be glorified. You will be praised. That we can see the Thais praise you as well.
It’s evening now and we have met with Dean and Bum and the interns, Mitch and Kelly. Dean has shared his heart about this region, reaching the Thai people, planting a church where there is none. It is hard, it will be long, but God is faithful. We must be also. We went to dinner at a local restaurant, just down the street. Most meals will be out, since food is so inexpensive. I was looking forward to tasting real Thai food. I wasn’t disappointed. The curry was tasty, and spicy!! Sleep will come easily now. More tomorrow.
All Things Elda 