midnight

Interesting how I find myself blogging late at night. Much of the blogging I’ve done has been off the cuff, thoughts from here and there, attempts to create coherency from the scattered, random musings in my head. I’ve a tale to tell, but it’s still in progress, thus hard to capture at times. Actually, I’ve many tales to tell. Remember, there’s a novel here somewhere, tragic, comedic, noble, base, scattered thoughts again.

My subtitle is “mission-minded, when I’ve got the mind”. My heart is in missions. That is, my desire is to serve on the mission field. At least that was my desire. Actually, It still is, but my feelings of inadequacy tend to drown it out at times. What could I possibly do on the field? How could I serve and be of any use? What good could I possibly bring to the field? Inadequate. Useless. A broken cistern.

Then I read that Jesus called Matthew… a tax collector. Jesus called a man who was used to taking what he could get, from his own. Here was a man who was used to people’s scorn and contempt. He had built up a thick skin to the abuse. He probably felt like an outsider. He wasn’t welcome among the Jews and he was looked down upon by the Romans, a useful pawn, but nothing more. I wonder what his social circle looked like?

And Jesus chose him. And he walked away from everything to follow Jesus. wow. He walked away. He left the comfort that he had built up, the comfort zone that he had created to cope with the abuse of others.

He didn’t know how to fish. It made sense when Jesus said to Peter that he would be a fisher of men. Peter was a fisherman. Matthew wasn’t. But he was going to become a fisher of men. Talk about career change, from collecting money to collecting men… Actually, he wouldn’t be collecting the men. That was Jesus’ job. Matthew was just supposed to cast the net. Easy enough…

Midnight musings. Will have to think on that fishing thing…